by Ulises Silva
Oh those dastardly undocumented immigrants! Having the nerve to sneak into our country after we’ve crippled theirs so that they could live the dream of second-class citizenry while living off our dime by mooching off our generous welfare system! (You know, the one that unquestionably doles out cash, cars, and private jets to anyone who asks for them.) And on top of that, they don’t pay a dime in taxes themselves and…
What’s that? General Electric made $14.2 billion in profits but didn’t pay a cent in taxes? Huh…I guess they really are bringing good things to life…for their execs, anyway. Well, that doesn’t change the fact that undocumented immigrants just come to mooch off us and…
What’s that? Undocumented immigrants paid $11.2 billion in taxes in 2010? Wait a second…that can’t be right! We all know that they just come to mooch off our system and don’t pay a dime to help our country…except for those $8.4 billion in sales taxes, $1.6 billion in property taxes, and $1.2 billion in personal income taxes!
Hmmm…so those undocumented folks actually put $11.2 billion into our economy? Well, fine, so maybe they did, but let me ask you this.
What could $11.2 billion really buy in this day and age?
About 132 years of Congressional salaries
The average salary of rank-and-file Senators (50) and Representatives (435) is $174,000, totaling about $84,390,000 per year. So, okay, $11.2 billion would give us about 132 years of Congress. Which, given their current level of productivity, sounds like a colossal waste of money.
About 56 F22 Raptors
Sounds good, especially since the Taliban Air Force might come at us with Su-37s at any moment. The F22 costs a whopping $200 million per plane, so that means undocumented immigrants could have bought a few squadrons worth of them. Speaking of outlandish military expenses…
Maybe a few weeks of combat in Iraq
The last war in Iraq, depending on whom you ask, might have cost upwards of $12.5 billion. A month. Soooooo…you can say undocumented immigrants did their patriotic duty by financing at least three weeks of combat operations and helping to crush Iraq’s (nonexistent) nuclear arsenal.
A year or two worth of foreign aid to Egypt, Pakistan, and Israel
Since we’ve eliminated poverty, ensured all Americans have access to affordable medical care, reformed our failing educational system, and ended homelessness, we can keep giving out huge sums of money to countries that clearly have our best interest in mind—like Egypt ($2 billion per year), Pakistan ($5 billion since 2001), and Israel ($3 billion per year). Luckily, undocumented immigrants might have picked up a good part of this tab last year.
About 160 Royal Weddings…or most of one
Undocumented immigrants could have footed the bill for more frivolous stuff. Like the Royal Wedding, which, depending on whom you ask, cost either a paltry $70 million, or a jaw-dropping (but slightly exaggerated) $10 billion.
About 61 more Michael Bay movies
Considering the last three Michael Bay movies cost a combined $550 million, there’s nothing that says undocumented immigrants couldn’t finance his next 61. Just think! Transformers 4 through 64! With explosions and everything! And…okay, you know what, let’s just go with…
$11.2 billion worth of common sense and decency
How would those 25% of children living in poverty benefit from $11.2 billion a year? Why don’t we find out?
To learn more about Ulises, visit Digital Decaf.
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those
of the author and should not be understood to be shared by Being Latino, Inc.
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